Many times when someone has a mental health issue it brings with it a number of behaviors and ways of thinking that have damaged relationships. So, we end up hurting the very people we love; the people who are “for us”. Once out of the heat of a manic episode or deep depression we many times have deep remorse for the pain that we have caused those around us. And while appropriate to take responsibly for our behavior our regret can also become toxic to us being able to move forward. So, how much regret is enough? When is it time to move forward? How do you overcome toxic remorse and regret? That is the subject of this edition of Fresh Hope for Mental Health.
After listening to this podcast we encourage you to email us at info@freshhope.us with a comment or question that we will share on our next podcast. Or you can leave a voice message for us on the site: www.FreshHope4MentalHealth.com
Pastor Brad Hoefs, host of Fresh Hope for Mental Health, is the founder of Fresh Hope Ministries, a network of Christian mental health support groups for those who have a diagnosis and their loved ones. In other words, Fresh Hope is a Christian mental health support group.
Brad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1995. He is a weekly blogger for www.bphope.us(Bipolar Magazine). He is also a certified peer specialist and has been doing pastoral counseling since 1985.
Brad is also the author of Fresh Hope: Living Well in Spite of a Mental Health Diagnosis, which is a available on Amazon or at: www.FreshHopeBook.com
If you are interested in more information about Fresh Hope go to: www.FreshHope.us or email info@FreshHope.us or call 402.932.3089.
For a complete list of where Fresh Hope groups are presently meeting go to: www.FreshHope.us and click on “find a group“.
If you are interested in starting a Fresh Hope group within you faith-community setting contact Julie at: Julie@FreshHope.us
Fresh Hope for Mental Health is a production of Fresh Hope Ministries. Fresh Hope Ministries is a non-profit ministry. The copyrights of this program belong to Fresh Hope Ministries and may not be duplicated with out written permission.
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I just posted this on the Forever Different Facebook page. (https://www.facebook.com/groups/foreverdifferent/)
If you heard my webinar for the International Bipolar Foundation, you heard that I am a former pastor. I never preach in my speeches and I’ve resisted anything to do with Christianity for years. An old resentment, perhaps, because there was no openness to mental illness by people in my denomination four decades ago and I came so close to suicide because I was told I just “needed to pray more” for the depressions to go away.
I mentioned in my webinar that I am struggling with self-forgiveness over my behavior during a 6-year mixed episode that ended in 2010. The IBF just shared this podcast by a pastor who has bipolar disorder and it helped me a lot in my thinking, so I share it with you. Please forgive me if the religious message is offensive to you.
Brad,
Your book has been such an amazing gift for me as a therapist and also as someone who has been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and PTSD.
The toxic remorse you spoke on here is very real. Not only for those with the disorder but those who are in relationship with those with a disorder. So many husbands, wives, children, and parents beat themselves up with, “Why didn’t I see that?” “What could I have done to stop this from having happened?” Their heartache, as loved ones, is just as scarring as ours in that they want the opportunity to “fix” us.
The one thing I questioned was that you stated these psychological breaks, episodes, if you will, only happen if we’re untreated or not treated properly. I would argue that statement. Sometimes we have episodes even when we ARE on the correct medication. As you well know, it can take only a small series of events to “set us off.”
Just food for thought.